well this is my second to last entry  before I die.  I will prolly write tomorrow but I just had a few things to say tonight.

1) I really HOPE and pray that my family knows I love them SOOOOOOO much and they are so special.

2) I am a bit excited b/c my friend KC found out about my plan and after MUCH deliberation she decided to leave it up to me.  She SWORE on her life and her dogs life that she would not tell anyone and that as long as this is a "rational" decision on my part she will just think of me when I die. 

3) I am glad that this nighmare will be over.  I can't be fat in the grave.  I will fianally be thin enough. 

4) I have decided I want to be buried (if I am buried) next to Krissy.  she died on a family drive from Littleton, CO to Salt Lake City, Ut for a wedding (I-80 is dangeruos!).  She was the only one in the car that died and she was my best friend after Columbine.  I miss her sooooooo much and I decided I want to be buried next to her. 

5) If this fails that is going to suck.  I plan on doing it at my parent's house in Littleton b/c they have a gun.  If I wake up in the morning I will then have the loaded gun and shoot myself to insure that I will die. 

6) This is to help my family.  I am such a disgrace-I am FAT!  FAT!  FAT!!  I am such a horrible person-I plan on STEALING the drugs to die!  Serioously, what type of person steals!!?  This will be the first time to steal but my family doesn't need such a horrible, bad, fat, unethical person in their family.  I am a disgrace.

I am fat, and this fat will stop tomorrow night.